Thinking Errors Pt. I
This is the first installment of a 4-part series on common thinking errors that we exhibit during our everyday lives. Simply put, “Thinking Errors”, are errors in our thinking that forgo the use of rational thought for fragmented behavior that is caused by irrational thinking. A lot of times we show such behaviors when dealing with stress on the job, home, and/or in relationships. Other times we show them when we try to prove a point that, in essence, is wrong, but our ego won't let it go. I'll write about two each time and give examples of how they could affect us, you in daily life.
ALL-OR-NOTHING THINKING { black & white }
Sometimes we see things as being black or white. Perhaps you have two categories of co-workers in your mind – the good ones and the bad ones. Or, maybe you look at each project as either a success or a failure. Instead of recognizing shades of grey, we can be guilty of thinking in terms of things being all good for all bad.
EX.: “This project is very important and if my idea can't be use than it will fail. I know this because I worked the longest on it and it is the only method that can make this project successful.”
A very one sided approached to problem solving which would add more of an hindrance than a help in completing it successfully. Even if someone else had another way of solving the problem and it was even proving the person exhibiting “All-or-Nothing Thinking” would simply ignore the success and try to prove it to be a failure.
This can be related mostly to stress when trying to complete a task at work or home. It could also relate to relationship tensions that the couple is in disagreement and the one party is attempting to gain an advantage in being the person who is right.
This type of thinking is very toxic to a work environment as well as interpersonal relationships. If you feel yourself harboring such thoughts be mindful and humble yourself. A pause in action could determine if you will move forward in rational thought or not. Otherwise, your actions could cost you employment in the long-run or break relationships with close friends and family.
OVER-GENERALIZING THINKING
It’s easy to take one particular event and overgeneralize how it applies to other situations. If you failed to close one deal, you may decide, “I’m bad at closing deals.” Or, if you are treated poorly by one co-worker, you might think, “People in this industry are not nice.”
This is very common, poor assumptions at it's best. We know first impressions are lasting impressions, but when you label an entire group of people (workers, gender, racial, young, old, sexual orientation) with a negative perception, then that is just ignorant and borderline prejudice.
EX.: “People at Freddy's Burger Joint are rude. All the employees at all Freddy's are jerks! They don't deserve my business as well as others.”
Receiving poor service at one venue, in one neighborhood now constitutes that every Freddy's in the city, the state, or nationwide are full of jerk employees. Yeah, if you let that sink in you would sound pretty foolish. Now lets string these statements together and see what you could eventually become if such irrational thinking is not checked and dealt with:
“My last girlfriend cheated on me, all women are bitches. The are fowl and liars and only want money.”
“James was robbed by a black guy last month. See that's why I don't like black people. They steal and they're lazy. They are blight on society.”
“Rosa snapped at me for spilling a drink on her. I said I was sorry but she was still angry. All Latina women are angry and mean. The aren't nice at all.”
“Troy is gay, I heard and he was looking at me. You see all gay men eyeing straight men. They can't help themselves, they're wrong by nature.”
“Sam is white and his parents make a lot of money. He looks down on me and said we are not good enough to play with him. All white boys come from money and are arrogant like him. They all dislike less fortunate people.”
Please don't be that guy!! As you see, both forms display judging before receiving facts, as well as ignoring facts.
Stay tuned for Thinking Errors II
