Abuse: It All Hurts
How many times have you heard someone say "If it's not physical, then it's not abuse?" If you haven't heard this lie, then consider yourself lucky. If you believe this lie, then you are either an abuser or an enabler (someone who is making excuses for the abuser). Remember, ALL types of abuse can cause a great amount of hurt and pain.
There are several different types of domestic abuse which can be placed into five main categories: 1. Physical, 2. Emotional, 3. Verbal, 4. Sexual, and 5. Financial.
Understanding each of these types of abuse can help us determine if:
1. You know someone who is being abused,
2. If something that YOU are doing is considered abuse, or
3. If YOU are being abused.
Physical abuse is self-explanatory. This type of abuse is ANY type of physical contact between the abuser and the victim. This could be a bite, scratch, punch, kick, push, or even throwing an object. One man stated that he was not abusing his wife, despite he had thrown a notebook at her face. That was still a form of abuse! It does not matter if the object is large or if the object is as small as an ink pen; it is still physical abuse.
Emotional and Verbal abuse have the longest lasting effect. Both of these types of abuse involve intimidation, damaging self-worth, isolation, name-calling, and humiliation. Some say this is the worst type of abuse because psychological "scars" are left behind for the victim to deal with. People who are being controlled and isolated from their family, shamed in public, bullied, or constantly talked down to by their abuser suffer from emotional and verbal abuse.
Sexual abuse is mostly heard of out of all the different types. Sexual abusers may decide to rape their mates/victims orally, vaginally, or even anally. This type of abuse gives the abuser the feeling of satisfaction that they are in control. Any type of unwanted sexual attention by anyone is considered sexual abuse. This also includes your spouse.
Financial abuse usually involves the illegal use of money, property, or other assets. Examples of financial abuse includes taking keys to prevent their victim from going to work and giving their victim an allowance in order to monitor what is being bought. The abuser will even use their own money at times just to gain control. Also, the abuser can cause their victim to get fired from their job due to their harassment at the victims place of employment.
No matter what type of abuse is incurred, it all hurts! One type cannot be compared to the other because they all hurt equally. If you are being abused in any of the ways mentioned above, please seek help immediately! If you know someone who is being abused, try to help them get out of the situation and seek help. If possible, seek help for the abuser as well. Both, victim and abuser, are in need of counseling to help stop the vicious cycle.
