Divorcing Your Spouse or Kids?
"But Mommy, he's being nice now, so you have to be nice and take him back."
"I'm sorry, sweetie, me and daddy get along better when we're apart from each other. Don't worry, it'll get easier."
"No it won't! You're just being mean! He said he was sorry! I hate you!"
In 1999, 30% of all marriages ended in divorce. In 2014, that percentage jumped to over 50%. People get divorced for several different reasons; the husband and wife argued over material things that could be replaced, nonetheless, someone is usually forgotten about in most divorce settlements. . . the children.
In many cases, parents usually agree to each spend "X" amount of time with the child(ren); however, they rarely take into consideration how the divorce affects their child(ren). The wrath of a divorce weighs most heavily on the kids because they suffer the most from their parents' situation.
Divorce produces two types of children;
Type A - The children become stressed out and often suffer from psychological and behavioral problems. Anger and disobedience problems soon develop as well, while academic performance usually declines.
Type B - The children are seemingly normal. They play, excel in school, and are very sociable . On the flip side, they're often left with painful memories and tend to constantly worry about their relationships with their parents and how their parents get along with each other.
Additionally, there has been an increase with a parent belittling their ex-spouse to their child. This has proven to hinder the child's relationship with the other parent; ultimately resulting in turning the child against them. This also does psychological harm. People should never take their anger out through the children by trying to be the "innocent" or "favorite" parent.
The best way to help your child get through the divorce is counseling. No, you should not be embarrassed or angry about it. Even if you're the child's best friend, he or she may not want to share certain things with you out of fear of hurting your feelings. Allow your child to talk to a professional, or, if it makes you more comfortable, your pastor. They have to be able to get all of those feelings and emotions out so their light will continue to shine. Don't let the issues with you and your spouse ruin your child's future!
Divorce doesn't have to hurt your babies! Do everything you can to help them transition into this new life!
